Survivors Remember
- It was not your fault!
- You are a survivor!
- You are stronger than you know!
- You are not alone!
- Axios! You are worthy!
- Vera! It’s all true!
To get help, please visit ScamVictimsSupport.org and sign up for the SCARS Institute FREE Scam Survivor’s School at www.SCARSeducation.org
My Scam Story #56
A Local Con Job/Fraud/Scam Victim/Survivor’s Story
Survivor’s Origin: USA
This is the original victim’s story, enhanced by the SCARS Institute Editorial Team to improve comprehension, readability, and continuity. The names were changed to protect the survivor’s identity.
WARNING: THIS SCAM VICTIM/SURVIVOR’S STORY MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME PEOPLE. DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
ADVERTENCIA: LA HISTORIA DE ESTA VÍCTIMA/SOBREVIVIENTE DE ESTAFA PUEDE SER INSENSIBLE PARA ALGUNAS PERSONAS. SE RECOMIENDA DISCRECIÓN.
If you need help, join our free SCARS Institute Support and Recovery Program at support.AgainstScams.org
Si necesita ayuda, únase a nuestro Programa gratuito de Apoyo y Recuperación del Instituto SCARS en support.AgainstScams.org
My Scam Story
I’ve been calling myself every name in the book for days, so you don’t need to. I know I messed up, and I’m still kicking myself over it. But I’m sharing this because I don’t want anyone else to fall into the same trap I did. Here’s how it all went down.
I volunteer every week at a small church in St. Petersburg, Florida, helping with community outreach. A few months ago, I started noticing a guy who showed up regularly. Let’s call him Tom. He looked rough—worn clothes, tired eyes, like life had beaten him down. He said he was homeless, and my heart went out to him. Whenever we had meals at the church, I made sure he got a plate. He’d often ask folks for a few bucks, and the church even took up collections for him sometimes. I learned he was an ex-convict, trying to get back on his feet. Our pastor eventually warned us to stop giving him cash because he was double-dipping—asking the church and then hitting up individuals. I should’ve listened, but I didn’t.
One Sunday, Tom asked if I could give him a ride to the motel where he was staying, a rundown place off 34th Street. I said sure. When we got there, he said he was short on cash for the room and some food. He looked desperate, so I handed over $50. He paid for the room right in front of me, which made me feel like I’d done something good. Then he asked for my number in case he needed help again. I gave it to him. Looking back, that was my first big mistake.
On the drive, Tom opened up. He said he’d just landed a job and was expecting a big inheritance from his late father—enough to turn his life around. I was happy for him, didn’t think much of it. He promised to pay me back the $50, but I brushed it off, saying it wasn’t a big deal. I just wanted to help.
That night, my phone started blowing up. Tom was texting me nonstop, saying he needed money for equipment for his new job. “I’m gonna lose this before I even start,” he wrote, sounding frantic. I should’ve seen the red flags, but instead, I felt bad for him. I sent him $200 through a cash app, thinking I was saving his job. He swore he’d pay me back once he got his first paycheck.
A few days later, he called me while I was at work. He was panicking, saying the police had shown up and he owed $275 for some registration issue from his past. I didn’t ask enough questions—I just sent the money, worried he’d end up in jail.
This went on for weeks. We had a hurricane warning in the Tampa Bay area, and Tom said he needed cash to stay in a hotel to ride out the storm. I sent $300. Every time he asked for money, it was a new crisis. One day, it was $400 to keep him off the streets. Another, it was $600 to secure his inheritance, which he kept saying was “almost here.” He’d update me constantly about this supposed windfall, how it was tied up in legal stuff but would come through any day. I believed him because I wanted to believe he was turning his life around.
He even gave me a specific date when the inheritance would hit. He said he’d pay me back everything—over $10,000 by then—and throw in extra as a thank-you. I told him I just wanted what I’d given, but he insisted. When that day came, surprise, surprise—another crazy story. Something about a lawyer screwing up the paperwork, and he needed $800 to fix it. I sent it, thinking if I didn’t, I’d never see my money again.
That’s when the scam shifted. It felt like I was trapped. Every new request came with a threat—if I didn’t send money, he’d be stranded, lose the inheritance, and I’d be out everything. I was in too deep, chasing the hope of getting my money back. The amounts kept climbing: $500 for a “legal fee,” $700 for “emergency travel.” By the time I stopped, I’d given him nearly $15,000 over two months.
I finally broke down and told my sister and a close friend. They were shocked and told me to cut him off immediately. I felt so stupid, but their support gave me the push I needed. The next time Tom called, I told him I was done—no more money until he paid me back. He didn’t stop. He kept spinning wild stories, even claiming his life was in danger without another $1,000. For the first time, I said no. He got angry, saying I’d never see my money and threatening to call my parents to “tell them everything.” I told him my family already knew, and he backed off, saying it was “just a civil matter” and I couldn’t do anything about it.
I’ve spent a lot of time replaying this in my head. I thought I was helping someone in my community, doing something good in the name of faith. Tom leaned into that, always talking about God’s will, how my help was a blessing. I ate it up, thinking I was making a difference. No religion asks you to drain your savings for one person, but I let my guard down. I ignored the warnings, the inconsistencies, the gut feeling that something was off.
Writing this makes me feel exposed, like I’m admitting to the world how naive I was. But if it stops even one person from falling for a similar con, it’s worth it. People like Tom prey on kindness, spinning lies so convincing you don’t see the truth until it’s too late. There are real people out there struggling, and I wish I’d given that money to them instead. I’m trying to move on, to learn from this without letting it define me. It’s hard, but I’m getting there.
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PLEASE NOTE:
In the case of Scam Survivor’s Stories: The SCARS Institute displays this story to help recent scam victims. We are authorized to display this story and in this form or edition is copyright © Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. All rights reserved. The specific survivor’s identity has been anonymized for their protection. Photos are generated and are not of the real person.
In the case of the Criminal’s Stories: The SCARS Institute presents the Criminal Stories to assist scam victims in understanding that criminals are real individuals, despite their terrible actions, and we can gain valuable insights from their experiences to prevent crime and identify these schemes as they emerge. We aim to support victims and survivors in releasing the emotions they harbor toward the criminals, fostering a path toward potential forgiveness over time.
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors, please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish. Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors’ experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started For New Victims of Relationship Scams: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- For Scam Victims Advocates: www.ScamVictimsAdvocates.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
More Survivor Stories
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A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and not to blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times, this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims; we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens, and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
SCARS Institute articles can help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org and www.ScamsNOW.com
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on SCARS Institute websites are for information & education only
The information provided in SCARS Institute articles is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair, please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
This is reality and I am so sorry you had to go through this. I went through the same real life trap and it cost me dearly.
I am so grateful that you could say no.
God bless
Thank you for telling your story. You did the right thing in stopping this person. Don’t blame yourself.
It’s normal to call youself names when you discover you trusted a scammer. I did it as well. But you should not do that anymore. It is good that you acknowledge the mistake you made, trusting a stranger. But from that point onwards he expertly manipulated you, there was not much you could do. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It is good that you are trying to learn from the scam and moving forward. I hope one day you have completely forgiven yourself and become empowered.