• Scam Survivor Stories from SCARS Institute

Remember

  • It was not your fault!
  • You are a survivor!
  • You are stronger than you know!
  • You are not alone!
  • Axios! You are worthy!
  • Vera! It’s all true!

To get help, please visit ScamVictimsSupport.org and sign up for the SCARS Institute Support & Recovery Program at support.AgainstScams.org

My Scam Story #11

A Romance Scam Victim/Survivor’s Story

Survivor’s Origin: USA

This is the original victim’s story, enhanced by the SCARS Institute Editorial Team to improve comprehension, readability, and continuity.

ADVERTENCIA: LA HISTORIA DE ESTA VÍCTIMA/SOBREVIVIENTE DE ESTAFA PUEDE SER INSENSIBLE PARA ALGUNAS PERSONAS. SE RECOMIENDA DISCRECIÓN.

Si necesita ayuda, únase a nuestro Programa gratuito de Apoyo y Recuperación del Instituto SCARS en support.AgainstScams.org

My Scam Story

I am grateful that I discovered SCARS on the very same day I realized I had become a victim of a romance scam. My experience began when an individual approached me through social media. From our first interactions, “he” seemed genuinely appreciative of my intellect and personality, qualities I valued greatly. Our initial conversations took place directly on social media, until “he” informed me that his account had been hacked. At his suggestion, we transitioned our communication to WhatsApp, a platform he assured me was safer.

Reflecting now, it never occurred to me that “he” was “too perfect” or “too good to be true.” Instead, “he” presented himself as someone very real, complex, and genuine. The psychological profile he created was convincingly detailed, and I believed I was engaging with a real, authentic person. Throughout our interactions, there was never any immediate pressure or demands from his side. Instead, he gradually gained my trust, consistently complimenting and encouraging me in ways that felt sincere and meaningful.

After nearly a year of ongoing conversations, he began asking me for small favors. These requests initially seemed innocent and logical. He would have me pick up MoneyGram orders sent by a supposed friend and then convert the money into Bitcoin before forwarding it to him. At the time, the explanations he provided made sense, and I did not suspect anything malicious or illegal. It all seemed harmless, even normal, within the context he had created.

However, towards the end of October, the situation took a sudden turn. He informed me that he was experiencing significant stress due to unforeseen financial issues. Yet, even at this point, there was no overt pressure or explicit demands for money, which continued to make his circumstances seem believable. Following this revelation, our communication drastically decreased. For approximately two months, I barely heard from him at all. It was this silence that eventually raised serious red flags.

This past weekend, I attempted to reach him only to discover that his WhatsApp account had been entirely deleted. It was this abrupt disappearance that triggered my awareness that something was profoundly wrong. Immediately recognizing that I had likely been deceived, I sought out resources and support for victims of romance scams, leading me to SCARS. Upon further research, I learned about the severity of my actions in terms of potentially acting as a money laundering mule without even knowing it. The gravity of the situation hit me hard.

Understanding the seriousness of my involvement, I immediately contacted an attorney and am currently awaiting their response to schedule a consultation. My plan is to consult with legal counsel before proceeding with a formal report to local law enforcement and taking the necessary but daunting next steps to address the issue fully.

Despite recognizing the reality of the situation, a part of me still remains in denial. I struggle with accepting the truth of what happened, but I know confronting it directly is essential for my recovery. Each day, I remind myself with affirmations: “This is not your fault. You did not deserve this. You are doing the right thing. You are taking the necessary steps.” Yet, deep down, I acknowledge that even now, a single message from “him” could tempt me into abandoning the entire recovery process, and this vulnerability reinforces to me that I am exactly where I need to be—seeking help and support.

I want to thank SCARS and the community here for providing this space and support system. Accepting what happened and seeking help has been incredibly challenging, yet I feel hopeful that I can eventually overcome this experience and move forward stronger and wiser than before.

SCARS Institute Notes:

-/ 30 /-

Thank You to this Scam Survivor for Their Story!
Please Share YOUR Story Here!
We Will Anonymize Your Story to Help Shield Your Identity!

PLEASE NOTE: The SCARS Institute displays this story to help recent scam victims. We are authorized to display this story and in this form or edition is copyright © Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. All rights reserved. The specific survivor’s identity has been anonymized for their protection. Photos are generated and are not of the real person.

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Important Information for New Scam Victims

If you are looking for local trauma counselors, please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish. Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors’ experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

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Important Information for New Scam Victims

If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

SCARS Resources:

A Note About Labeling!

We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org