• Scam Survivor Stories from SCARS Institute

Remember

  • It was not your fault!
  • You are a survivor!
  • You are stronger than you know!
  • You are not alone!
  • Axios! You are worthy!
  • Vera! It’s all true!

To get help, please visit ScamVictimsSupport.org and sign up for the SCARS Institute Support & Recovery Program at support.AgainstScams.org

My Scam Story #17

A Romance Scam Victim/Survivor’s Story

Survivor’s Origin: UK

This is the original victim’s story, enhanced by the SCARS Institute Editorial Team to improve comprehension, readability, and continuity.

ADVERTENCIA: LA HISTORIA DE ESTA VÍCTIMA/SOBREVIVIENTE DE ESTAFA PUEDE SER INSENSIBLE PARA ALGUNAS PERSONAS. SE RECOMIENDA DISCRECIÓN.

Si necesita ayuda, únase a nuestro Programa gratuito de Apoyo y Recuperación del Instituto SCARS en support.AgainstScams.org

My Scam Story

I didn’t know where to turn for advice or support, and right now, I’m experiencing an emotional roller coaster that feels endless. But at least I found SCARS.

It all began two years ago when I decided to try online dating for the first time. Feeling lonely and hoping for companionship, I signed up on a dating site. Shortly after joining, I connected with a man who claimed to be in the military, specifically a Lieutenant General stationed in Afghanistan. This happened just before the U.S. troops withdrew on August 31st.

He seemed credible and genuine, mentioning that he would retire upon returning home. Initially, we communicated regularly, but after the official military withdrawal, his story shifted slightly. He explained that he had moved into an undercover role, which restricted him from calling me directly. Instead, he persuaded me to switch our communication to the Hangouts app, promising it was safer for him due to his alleged secret operations.

Throughout our interactions, he always had convincing explanations for any questions or doubts I raised. Even when I confronted him about inconsistencies or things that didn’t quite make sense, his answers were so reasonable and reassuring that I chose to trust him fully.

Unfortunately, over time, he gradually drained all my savings under various pretenses, such as emergencies or critical missions he claimed required immediate funds. My willingness to help, combined with my trust in him, led me into severe financial hardship. Ultimately, the scam left both me and my 92-year-old mother homeless, forcing us to live in my car for four heartbreaking months. This was incredibly traumatic, especially since I previously owned my own home and had no idea how difficult and expensive renting a new place could be.

When my money was entirely depleted, he proposed another solution: he would arrange for checks and wire transfers to be sent directly into my bank accounts. Trusting him again, I followed his instructions. He even convinced me to open multiple bank accounts and establish a business, claiming this would help manage the money he was sending. I thought I was helping him and creating a path to rebuild our lives together.

Sadly, this arrangement quickly unraveled. I soon discovered that the funds deposited into my accounts were actually stolen from legitimate small businesses. The companies victimized by these thefts traced the stolen money to my accounts, believing I was responsible. They sought legal action, initiating fraud accusations against me.

This devastating realization culminated in a shocking visit from two detectives from my local police department, who arrived at my doorstep to question me. It was at that very moment that the reality of the scam became undeniable. I was caught in a criminal scheme orchestrated by someone I had deeply trusted.

Following this terrifying encounter with law enforcement, I immediately cut off all communication with him. Despite my firm stance, he continues attempting to contact me, which only deepens my anxiety and fear about what might happen next.

Today, I face an uncertain and frightening future. Not only am I burdened by financial ruin and the painful experience of homelessness, but I am also grappling with serious legal challenges that I never imagined I would face. I worry constantly about potential prosecution, despite being another victim in this cruel scenario.

Sharing this story is incredibly difficult, but I hope it serves as a warning to others. No one should have to endure the emotional and financial devastation I’ve experienced. I am determined to reclaim my life, but the journey is overwhelming. I sincerely appreciate any support and understanding I can receive along this challenging path to recovery.

SCARS Institute Notes:

-/ 30 /-

Thank You to this Scam Survivor for Their Story!
Please Share YOUR Story Here!
We Will Anonymize Your Story to Help Shield Your Identity!

PLEASE NOTE: The SCARS Institute displays this story to help recent scam victims. We are authorized to display this story and in this form or edition is copyright © Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. All rights reserved. The specific survivor’s identity has been anonymized for their protection. Photos are generated and are not of the real person.

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Important Information for New Scam Victims

If you are looking for local trauma counselors, please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish. Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors’ experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

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Important Information for New Scam Victims

If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

SCARS Resources:

A Note About Labeling!

We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org