Survivors Remember
- It was not your fault!
- You are a survivor!
- You are stronger than you know!
- You are not alone!
- Axios! You are worthy!
- Vera! It’s all true!
To get help, please visit ScamVictimsSupport.org and sign up for the SCARS Institute Support & Recovery Program at support.AgainstScams.org
My Scam Story #8
A Romance Scam Victim/Survivor’s Story
Survivor’s Origin: USA
This is the original victim’s story, enhanced by the SCARS Institute Editorial Team to improve comprehension, readability, and continuity.
WARNING: THIS SCAM VICTIM/SURVIVOR’S STORY MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME PEOPLE. DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
ADVERTENCIA: LA HISTORIA DE ESTA VÍCTIMA/SOBREVIVIENTE DE ESTAFA PUEDE SER INSENSIBLE PARA ALGUNAS PERSONAS. SE RECOMIENDA DISCRECIÓN.
If you need help, join our free SCARS Institute Support and Recovery Program at support.AgainstScams.org
Si necesita ayuda, únase a nuestro Programa gratuito de Apoyo y Recuperación del Instituto SCARS en support.AgainstScams.org
My Scam Story
I have unfortunately experienced two romance scams in my life. The first occurred about 15 years ago, and after recovering from that painful situation, I genuinely believed I had moved past it. I felt confident that I could recognize and avoid any potential scams in the future, and for many years, I successfully did exactly that.
However, despite my awareness, I recently became involved in a second romance scam, and it turned out to be significantly different and more sophisticated than the first. I met a man who convincingly portrayed himself as someone trustworthy and genuine. He drew me into his world through careful manipulation and deceitful charm. Initially, I had no suspicions, as everything appeared normal and sincere.
About three weeks into our relationship, I began noticing inconsistencies in his stories and behavior, causing me to question his identity. When I confronted him about these discrepancies, he surprisingly admitted that he had lied about who he was. To regain my trust, he claimed he was revealing his “real” self to me and that his initial deception was necessary to protect his privacy. Unfortunately, this revelation was also part of his manipulation strategy.
This second scam involved multiple deceptive schemes. He engaged in what’s known as “Pig Butchering,” a type of scam where victims are groomed emotionally and then financially exploited. Additionally, he tried involving me in fraudulent cryptocurrency investments, which I unfortunately participated in, resulting in a substantial financial loss.
Beyond financial investments, he attempted to persuade me to open both a checking account and a business account in my name. He specifically insisted that I link my personal bank account directly to this new business account. Thankfully, my instincts kicked in strongly at that point, and I refused to link the accounts. He then shifted strategies and suggested that I establish a jewelry store as a business front. Recognizing the potential danger, I refused this as well and closed the business account altogether.
Undeterred, he then convinced me to assist with certain financial “transactions” he claimed were essential for his business. Regrettably, I agreed to help him with two transactions before realizing what was truly occurring—I was being used as a money mule, unknowingly facilitating his criminal activities. Once I fully understood the situation, I immediately refused any further involvement and cut all ties completely.
Now, having severed all communication, I’m left dealing with a deep sense of hurt, depression, and betrayal. I feel incredibly foolish for having been deceived twice in romance scams, especially after believing I had learned from my initial experience. My self-confidence and trust in others have been significantly shaken, and I find myself questioning whether I will ever be able to trust anyone again.
Despite these painful experiences, I have learned valuable lessons about vigilance, skepticism, and the importance of trusting one’s instincts. I am sharing my story in the hope that it might prevent others from falling victim to similar schemes. While my recovery process continues, I am determined to heal and regain my strength, using this experience as a stepping stone toward greater awareness and resilience.
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PLEASE NOTE:
In the case of Scam Survivor’s Stories: The SCARS Institute displays this story to help recent scam victims. We are authorized to display this story and in this form or edition is copyright © Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. All rights reserved. The specific survivor’s identity has been anonymized for their protection. Photos are generated and are not of the real person.
In the case of the Criminal’s Stories: The SCARS Institute presents the Criminal Stories to assist scam victims in understanding that criminals are real individuals, despite their terrible actions, and we can gain valuable insights from their experiences to prevent crime and identify these schemes as they emerge. We aim to support victims and survivors in releasing the emotions they harbor toward the criminals, fostering a path toward potential forgiveness over time.
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors, please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish. Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors’ experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started For New Victims of Relationship Scams: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- For Scam Victims Advocates: www.ScamVictimsAdvocates.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
More Survivor Stories
More Criminal Stories
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and not to blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times, this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims; we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens, and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
SCARS Institute articles can help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org and www.ScamsNOW.com
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on SCARS Institute websites are for information & education only
The information provided in SCARS Institute articles is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair, please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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