My Scam Story #26

A Romance Scam Victim/Survivor’s Story

Survivor’s Origin: UK

This is the original victim’s story, enhanced by the SCARS Institute Editorial Team to improve comprehension, readability, and continuity.

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My Scam Story

Hi, I’m new to the group, and I wanted to share my experience as part of my healing journey. I’m from the UK and was scammed earlier this year by someone I met on a dating website. It’s still difficult for me to believe what happened, but sharing my story feels like an essential step towards recovery.

My story begins in April this year. At that time, I was vulnerable because I had recently ended my marriage in December. The divorce had left me emotionally fragile, lonely, and desperate for companionship and understanding. I realize now that this made me an easy target, and I’ve accepted this as part of understanding my experience.

The man who scammed me reached out on the dating site, presenting himself as charming, kind, and empathetic. He said he was a surgeon currently working on a three-year contract in Baghdad, due to expire at the end of June, after which he planned to return to his home in London. His story was convincing, detailed, and consistent. He shared personal information freely, making me feel special and valued, which was exactly what I needed at that point in my life.

Over the following six weeks, he drew me deeper into the illusion of a genuine romantic connection. We communicated daily, exchanging messages filled with affection, warmth, and care. He sent numerous photos and even videos of himself, making me feel as though I genuinely knew him and his life. He appeared to be everything I had hoped for after the painful end of my marriage.

Gradually, he began sharing more personal struggles. He spoke of being a single father to a daughter who was desperately in need of medical treatment. To deepen the deception, he went so far as to involve his supposed daughter, who emailed me directly, pleading for help and describing her situation in a way that pulled deeply at my heartstrings. The situation he described felt urgent and tragic, compelling me to act out of empathy and concern.

Then, he introduced the story of his financial troubles. He claimed he had previously been a victim of a scam himself—ironically from a woman he’d met online. According to him, she had depleted most of his funds, and his UK bank accounts had been frozen as a protective measure until he could return to the country. At the time, I found this believable, especially given how open he appeared about his struggles and how emotionally vulnerable he seemed to be. I saw this as another reason to trust him, as he appeared genuinely distressed by the situation.

Driven by my compassion and emotional attachment, I agreed to help him financially. Initially, he asked for a smaller amount, which seemed reasonable given the circumstances he described. I ended up sending him £700, feeling that I was genuinely helping someone I deeply cared about. It was only when he later asked me for an additional £2,300 that something in me finally woke up. That request triggered alarm bells in my mind. It felt excessive and suspicious, and it made me start questioning everything he’d told me up until that point.

After a bit of research and reflection, the reality slowly began to dawn on me. I had been scammed. Everything—the stories, the photos, the emotional investment—was all a lie. Realizing this left me feeling utterly betrayed, foolish, and emotionally devastated. How could I have fallen for something that, in hindsight, seemed so obvious? The sense of shame and embarrassment was almost overwhelming.

Now, in the aftermath, I am trying to process the emotional damage this has caused. I oscillate between feelings of anger, sadness, and deep frustration at myself for having been so trusting. I realize now that these scams prey on vulnerabilities, and mine was the loneliness and emotional distress following my divorce. Even though I lost money, the emotional toll has been far more significant. I genuinely mourn the loss of a relationship that never truly existed.

I’m working through feelings of heartbreak over someone who was never real, a situation that feels surreal and difficult to accept. It has been a profound learning experience, one that has made me more cautious and aware of how easily emotions can cloud judgment. It’s painful to admit to myself and to others what happened, but I am determined to move forward, heal, and ultimately become stronger because of this experience.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Sharing this has been difficult but therapeutic, and I genuinely appreciate having a safe space to express myself openly. I am committed to healing, rebuilding my trust, and finding peace with what happened. I hope my story can help others avoid the same painful experience or at least reassure anyone in a similar situation that they are not alone.

SCARS Institute Notes:

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