Survivors Remember
- It was not your fault!
- You are a survivor!
- You are stronger than you know!
- You are not alone!
- Axios! You are worthy!
- Vera! It’s all true!
To get help, please visit ScamVictimsSupport.org and sign up for the SCARS Institute FREE Scam Survivor’s School at www.SCARSeducation.org
My Scam Story #27
A Romance Scam Victim/Survivor’s Story
Survivor’s Origin: MEXICO
This is the original victim’s story, enhanced by the SCARS Institute Editorial Team to improve comprehension, readability, and continuity.
WARNING: THIS SCAM VICTIM/SURVIVOR’S STORY MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME PEOPLE. DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
ADVERTENCIA: LA HISTORIA DE ESTA VÍCTIMA/SOBREVIVIENTE DE ESTAFA PUEDE SER INSENSIBLE PARA ALGUNAS PERSONAS. SE RECOMIENDA DISCRECIÓN.
If you need help, join our free SCARS Institute Support and Recovery Program at support.AgainstScams.org
Si necesita ayuda, únase a nuestro Programa gratuito de Apoyo y Recuperación del Instituto SCARS en support.AgainstScams.org
My Scam Story
I want to share a part of my story, hoping it helps others who might find themselves in a similar situation. My ordeal with a scammer ended six years ago, after lasting for about one and a half years. At first, it was just casual conversation because I had clearly expressed that I wasn’t looking for a relationship. At that time, I had been divorced for five years, and I felt genuinely happy. My children and I had achieved emotional and financial stability, and I truly believed our lives were complete and fulfilled.
Unfortunately, I made the mistake of allowing myself to become deeply involved in the scammer’s life and the stories he fabricated. Gradually, I began trusting him, sharing my own personal history without realizing he would later use this information against me. As our relationship continued, I believed I had fallen in love and became emotionally attached. This attachment became a gateway for intense manipulation, and I soon found myself under enormous emotional pressure. The scammer bombarded me with messages at all hours, relentlessly pressuring me until I could no longer think clearly or understand the reality of the situation.
Eventually, the supposed “love” transformed into threats and intimidation. My emotional and psychological health deteriorated rapidly. When I finally discovered that everything was a lie—a calculated and cruel scam—I experienced a flood of conflicting emotions. On one hand, I felt relief knowing the threats against my children’s lives were not real. But on the other hand, my world collapsed when I realized the extent of my financial losses.
The financial impact was devastating. I had to sell our family home, my bank accounts were completely drained, and I lost my job due to stress, anxiety, and inability to concentrate or even show up consistently. The scammer had cruelly exploited my personal traumas to manipulate and control me. My life spiraled into chaos, and tragically, my children became innocent victims, suffering through a situation they neither caused nor deserved.
For a period of time, I existed in darkness, living isolated in a room with doors and windows tightly shut, driven by overwhelming fear, anxiety, and insecurity. My physical health suffered severely—I lost 44 pounds because I couldn’t eat or sleep properly. Each day felt like an insurmountable challenge, and I genuinely did not know how to move forward.
Thankfully, in my lowest moments, I found SCARS and reached out for help. Beginning my recovery was not easy. It was a challenging journey that required constant self-encouragement, self-forgiveness, and determination to face the new reality. The most difficult part was facing my children, who were confused and frightened, unable to comprehend why we had suddenly lost everything and had nowhere to call home.
Drawing strength from my love for them and from the invaluable support provided by the SCARS group, I gradually found a way to stand again. The support group became my refuge and a critical source of strength, especially during those particularly tough days when giving up seemed easier than continuing the fight.
Today, six years later, I can confidently say that recovery was not perfect or easy, but it was achievable through persistent commitment. What truly helped me was accepting my new reality—not with resignation, but with resilience, hope, and a focused determination to create a new, meaningful path forward. Though my original life plans were drastically altered by the scam, embracing this unexpected path has presented new opportunities and a different kind of fulfillment.
To anyone currently navigating the pain and confusion caused by a similar experience, my advice is simple yet powerful: Don’t give up. Keep moving forward. Life still holds many joys, opportunities, and beautiful moments that we can experience on our journey toward reclaiming the peace and stability we all deserve.
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PLEASE NOTE:
In the case of Scam Survivor’s Stories: The SCARS Institute displays this story to help recent scam victims. We are authorized to display this story and in this form or edition is copyright © Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. All rights reserved. The specific survivor’s identity has been anonymized for their protection. Photos are generated and are not of the real person.
In the case of the Criminal’s Stories: The SCARS Institute presents the Criminal Stories to assist scam victims in understanding that criminals are real individuals, despite their terrible actions, and we can gain valuable insights from their experiences to prevent crime and identify these schemes as they emerge. We aim to support victims and survivors in releasing the emotions they harbor toward the criminals, fostering a path toward potential forgiveness over time.
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors, please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish. Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors’ experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started For New Victims of Relationship Scams: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- For Scam Victims Advocates: www.ScamVictimsAdvocates.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
More Survivor Stories
More Criminal Stories
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and not to blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times, this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims; we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens, and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
SCARS Institute articles can help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org and www.ScamsNOW.com
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on SCARS Institute websites are for information & education only
The information provided in SCARS Institute articles is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair, please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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