Survivors Remember
- It was not your fault!
- You are a survivor!
- You are stronger than you know!
- You are not alone!
- Axios! You are worthy!
- Vera! It’s all true!
To get help, please visit ScamVictimsSupport.org and sign up for the SCARS Institute Support & Recovery Program at support.AgainstScams.org
My Scam Victim/Survivor Story #76
Celebrity Romance Scam
Survivor’s Country: USA
This is the original victim’s story, enhanced by the SCARS Institute Editorial Team to improve comprehension, readability, and continuity. The names were changed to protect the survivor’s identity.
WARNING: THIS SCAM VICTIM/SURVIVOR’S STORY MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME PEOPLE. DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
ADVERTENCIA: LA HISTORIA DE ESTA VÍCTIMA/SOBREVIVIENTE DE ESTAFA PUEDE SER INSENSIBLE PARA ALGUNAS PERSONAS. SE RECOMIENDA DISCRECIÓN.
If you need help, join our free SCARS Institute Support and Recovery Program at support.AgainstScams.org
Si necesita ayuda, únase a nuestro Programa gratuito de Apoyo y Recuperación del Instituto SCARS en support.AgainstScams.org
My Scam Victim Story
I’m a 62-year-old woman living in Wickenburg, Arizona, and I never thought I’d lose $20,000 to a romance scam that began with a text on Instagram, right after I received a life-altering health diagnosis in early 2024. I’d been struggling with the fear of changes my condition would bring, and the unresolved trauma from over 50 years ago left me vulnerable, despite my awareness of scams. My story isn’t just about financial loss—it’s about the betrayal of trust and the emotional toll that followed. I’m sharing this to show how scammers exploit your deepest vulnerabilities.
In January 2024, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that turned my world upside down. The fear of what lay ahead—medical treatments, lifestyle changes, and uncertainty—left me emotionally raw. I’d always been cautious, aware of phishing emails, too-good-to-be-true offers, and scams impersonating government officials. But I never knew scammers could pose as celebrities. That’s when I received a message on Instagram from someone claiming to be a well-known actor I admired, calling himself James. I just want to connect with loyal fans like you, he wrote, and his name matched the account, making it seem genuine. I felt flattered, thinking a celebrity saw value in me during my darkest time.
We started chatting, and James was charming, asking about my life and sharing stories that seemed personal. You’re so strong, I admire you, he said, filling a void I didn’t realize was so deep. My marriage was strained, my husband supportive but overwhelmed, and this connection felt like a lifeline. I didn’t suspect a thing, as I’d never heard of scammers impersonating actors. Over weeks, he built trust, claiming he wanted to help me through my health struggles, and I opened up about my fears, believing I’d found a friend.
The scam unfolded slowly, with James weaving a tale of needing financial help for a “charity event” he was organizing. It’s for a cause close to my heart, will you help? he asked, requesting $5,000. I sent the money, thinking I was contributing to something meaningful. The requests grew—$10,000 for “travel expenses,” then $5,000 for “unexpected costs”—each with promises of meeting soon. I’ll visit you once this is sorted, he wrote, and I believed him, using credit cards to fund his requests, totaling $20,000 over three months. I felt I was helping someone who cared about me, blind to the growing debt.
The turning point came when he asked for my bank login to “secure” funds for a joint project. Something’s wrong, I thought, refusing his request. His tone turned cold, and he vanished, leaving me with maxed-out credit cards and a sinking realization. I reported the scam to local law enforcement, but they were slow to act, taking over two months to file a report. I also contacted the FBI, but never heard back, deepening my sense of betrayal—not just by the scammer, but by the systems meant to protect me.
The scam left me reeling, doubling the trauma I was already facing with my health diagnosis. I felt betrayed by what I thought was a deep bond, not just romantic but a friendship built on trust. I thought he cared, I admitted, the sting of deception cutting deep. My lack of trust in others grew, isolating me further. I stopped socializing, fearing judgment, and my world shrank to my home, where anxiety took hold. I can’t trust anyone, I told myself, the betrayal echoing my unresolved trauma from decades past.
Financially, the impact was devastating. I’m now in a debt resolution program to avoid bankruptcy, grateful I didn’t touch my retirement savings, but my credit cards are in shambles, and my credit rating has plummeted. This affects my family—we can’t borrow for emergencies like a new furnace or vehicle, and I struggle to pay medical copays for my treatments and diagnostics. How will we manage? I worry, the stress compounding my health issues. Yet, amidst this, my husband remains my rock, believing in me and insisting This wasn’t your fault, a steadfast support I cling to.
You can avoid scams like mine by staying vigilant, especially with unexpected online messages. If someone claims to be a celebrity but avoids video calls or asks for money, question their identity. I should’ve verified him, I realized too late. Never send funds to someone you haven’t met in person, no matter how genuine they seem. It felt real, but it was a lie, I learned. Protect your personal information, using strong passwords and monitoring accounts. If you’re pressured, consult a trusted friend before acting. My husband could’ve stopped me, I admitted. Report suspicious messages to law enforcement immediately, and consider joining SCARS support groups for guidance. These steps shield your heart and finances from deceit.
I’m rebuilding, focusing on healing my trauma through therapy and faith. I’ve joined SCARS support groups, finding comfort in shared experiences. I’m not alone, I discovered, their empathy easing my isolation. My husband and I are managing the debt, and I’m learning to trust again, slowly. I’m stronger than I thought, I tell myself, finding hope in small steps. The scam taught me to be cautious, but also to value the unwavering support of my loved ones, a light in my recovery journey.
How did this story impact you?
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If you need support, please join our free SCARS Institute Scam Survivor’s School Recovery Program at www.SCARSeducation.org
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PLEASE NOTE:
In the case of Scam Survivor’s Stories: The SCARS Institute displays this story to help recent scam victims. We are authorized to display this story and in this form or edition is copyright © Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. All rights reserved. The specific survivor’s identity has been anonymized for their protection. Photos are generated and are not of the real person.
In the case of the Criminal’s Stories: The SCARS Institute presents the Criminal Stories to assist scam victims in understanding that criminals are real individuals, despite their terrible actions, and we can gain valuable insights from their experiences to prevent crime and identify these schemes as they emerge. We aim to support victims and survivors in releasing the emotions they harbor toward the criminals, fostering a path toward potential forgiveness over time.
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors, please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish. Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors’ experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started For New Victims of Relationship Scams: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- For Scam Victims Advocates: www.ScamVictimsAdvocates.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
More Survivor Stories
More Criminal Stories
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and not to blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times, this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims; we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens, and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
SCARS Institute articles can help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org and www.ScamsNOW.com
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on SCARS Institute websites are for information & education only
The information provided in SCARS Institute articles is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair, please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
Thank you for sharing your story. Indeed, it was not your fault. It sounds very tough, but it is good that you have a strong support network and you know you are not alone.