My Scam Story #34

A Romance Scam Victim/Survivor’s Story

Survivor’s Origin: GERMANY

This is the original victim’s story, enhanced by the SCARS Institute Editorial Team to improve comprehension, readability, and continuity.

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My Scam Story

How It Started and How It Still Stays with Me

Today it’s my turn to share my story. It happened a long time ago, but some parts of it still feel close.

My scam began in the summer of 2013—August, to be exact. I accepted a friend request on Facebook without thinking much about it. I was playing an online game at the time and needed more neighbors to keep progressing. I didn’t look closely at the profile. I just clicked “accept.”

Two days later, the man who sent the request messaged me. He thanked me for accepting and said he had come across my profile while searching for a friend who had a similar name. His name was “Gerry Dollekamp.” He said he was a soldier in the U.S. Army, currently stationed in Kabul, Afghanistan.

At first, we talked about random things—nothing serious. Just small talk. But soon, he started asking questions. He wanted to know more about my life. He asked if I was married, if I had kids. He shared that he had lost his wife in a car accident and had a daughter named Kristy who was away at boarding school.

Day by day, our conversations became more personal. We began to share stories about our lives, our hopes, and our pain. I confided in him about my unhappy marriage and my children. He told me he understood and that he just wanted to make me happy.

Then one day, he told me he had fallen in love with me.

I still remember how his words made me feel. I had never heard anything like that from my husband. I felt seen. I felt understood. I felt like someone finally cared about me in a way I had been missing for a long time. I fell in love too—or at least, I fell in love with the words and the attention. The idea that someone wanted me and was thinking about a future with me made me feel alive again.

Around six months later, something changed. I didn’t hear from him for five days. I was worried. I searched the news for stories from Afghanistan. I imagined the worst. Then he finally messaged me, asking for my email address so he could explain.

He sent a long email. He wrote about fighting, death, injury, and arrest. He said there was a box filled with weapons and money that had been taken from enemy forces. The money—he said it was $2.5 million—was to be shared among the soldiers. But it wasn’t safe to keep in Afghanistan. He wanted to send the box to me. He said it would be for our future. I just needed to help him receive it.

He told me that a lawyer would contact me to arrange everything. The lawyer would handle transporting the box to England, and then to me. I agreed to help.

Soon after, I got an email from the supposed lawyer. He sent some official-looking papers and instructions for a bank transfer. I sent €4,600 to an account in England.

Then I had to contact a delivery company. They gave me a choice of services—DHL, UPS, and a third one I can’t remember. Another payment was required—€3,900. I sent that as well, again to England. They told me the box would arrive within three days.

It never came.

When I told my “soldier,” he acted angry with the delivery company. He said he was going to request leave from his commander so he could come and handle it himself. But weeks passed, and he said he couldn’t get the leave because his commander wasn’t available. Still, we kept chatting. He continued to send love messages, songs, and poems. He kept promising everything would work out.

Then I received an email supposedly from the army. There was another form to fill out, sent by email. After that, the army requested €6,000 so that he could be released from duty and come home to me.

By that point, I had already sent so much money. I simply didn’t have it anymore. I told him I couldn’t pay. That’s when my first real doubts crept in. But he knew exactly what to say to calm me down and make me trust him again. He said he would ask friends to help.

Eventually, he told me the money had been paid. He booked a flight. But then he asked for more money—something about needing extra for the trip. Again, I couldn’t help. And that’s when I finally started to search online. I typed in some of his words, his story, parts of his name.

That’s when I found the truth.

I realized I had been scammed. Everything—the soldier, the daughter, the box, the lawyer, the delivery company, even the army forms—was part of a carefully constructed lie.

I was shocked. Completely heartbroken. I felt like a zombie.

Looking back, I think I had already started to feel that way when the delivery company didn’t send the box. Something inside me knew. But I kept going, hoping that I was wrong. Hoping that it would all work out. Hoping that love was real.

It was one of the worst times in my life.

And even though it’s been many years now—and I’ve moved on in many ways—there are still days when I don’t feel well. The memories come back. Sometimes they’re sharp. Sometimes they just linger. But they’re always there.

This experience became a part of my life. I don’t live in it anymore, but it left a mark.

For anyone reading this who is going through something similar, please know: you are not alone. What happened to you was not your fault. These scammers are professionals. They know how to manipulate emotions, create false hope, and isolate their victims from the truth.

If you’re still caught in it, please take a step back. Ask questions. Talk to someone. You deserve better than lies and manipulation. You deserve real support, real safety, and real love.

And most importantly—you’re not the only one this has happened to.

I hope my story helps someone else recognize what’s happening before it goes too far.

Thank you for listening.

SCARS Institute Notes:

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